Black Women Deserve Rest
I have worked seven days a week since August 22nd, 2022. I work full time within my business, seeing clients and building a brand, managing all the responsibilities from both roles alone. I see clients 6 days per week within my business which overlaps into my part time job where I work on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. This sometimes results in more than 12 hours worked on Fridays and Saturdays and between 60-80 hours worked per week. As a result, I was more than tired, I was hanging on by single strand thread. I was so exhausted and required rest.
I went on a child-less vacation this past week and completely unplugged from just about everything. I was on vacation from Monday October 10-Saturday October 15, 2022. I took a five day cruise from Norfolk, VA to Bimini and Freeport Bahamas. While on the cruise I purposely did not purchase an international phone plan or an internet package. As a result, I received plenty of rest, ate what I wanted to eat, and went to bed when I wanted. Some days as early as 6:00 pm. It was great!
As a therapist, I specifically work with Black woman with symptoms of anxiety and/or depression that may be triggered by being the Strong Black Woman phenomenon and the internal conflicts that these clients are facing. Dr. Janee Avent-Harris describes the Strong Black Woman or the Black Super Woman Phenomenon as “ the idea that Black women should be caretakers and assume various roles and responsibilities without the opportunity to be emotionally transparent and expressive.” Furthermore Dr. Janee Avent Harris explains that “Black women value their ability to achieve despite increasingly overwhelming odds ” (Avent Harris, 2019 as cited Overstreet, 2019). As an LCSW working with this population of clients, the Black women I work with have attached their identity and worth to their productivity and express feeling less worthy or valuable when unproductive or resting. Additionally, these clients usually minimize feelings of sadness, overwhelm, and loss of motivation which is consistent with symptoms of depression. As well as, overwhelming anxiety that results in uncontrollable crying, difficulty breathing, shaking, and sweats which can be consistent with panic attacks triggered by anxiety,
If you find yourself resonating with the Strong Black Woman or Black Super Woman Phenomenon, below are three simple statements that should encourage you to shift your mindset supporting this phenomenon.
I am more than I produce. You are more than the work you do, laundry you do, or the children you raise. While all the roles and responsibilities that you have to influence who are, you have an existence outside of those roles and responsibilities.
Rest is as valid as pain. This statement was pivotal to me and I began to undo the conditioning that molded me into the Strong Black Woman. When I am in pain, I relieve it as soon as possible. I do not try to minimize my pain or justify having the pain nor justify relieving it. I decided to stop doing the same with fatigue and rest.
My being is valuable. There is value in you for existing. This value may be better felt when surrounded by loved ones, whom gain value just being around you such as children and other family members. If that is the case, ensuring that you spend time with other’s who simply value your existence is important and should be prioritized.
There is strength in recognizing and asking for help. Recognizing, asking, and receiving help allows you to appear has human. Whereas the Strong Black Woman stereotype, can be dehumanizing removing the emotional transparency mentioned above. Whereas avoiding asking for and receiving help continues to perpetuate the stereotype of the Strong Black Woman.
In conclusion, the Strong Black Woman or Black Super Woman Phenomenon does more damage overtime that it does good. Continuing to hold on to this stereotype and function in ways that support and reinforce it results in the continuation of this stereotype being displayed and encouraged by non black peers in most environments, specifically work environments. However, there is research that has prompted conversations surrounding it as well guide mental health professionals work with this population of clients that is beneficial in overcoming this phenomenon.
If you or someone you know resonates with the information shared in this article and would like to attend therapy to assist with overcoming the above mentioned symptoms and are located in the states of NC, SC, VA, or MD you can click here to see my rates and/or the insurance I accept. You can click here to schedule a consultation or Initial Evaluation.
Disclaimer: I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but I am not YOUR Licensed Clinical Social Worker. These blog posts are based on my personal opinions, reflections, and insights and are not intended to be taken as professional therapeutic intervention(s) and/or advice. Further, please note these blogs are not intended to serve as and/or replace formal counseling services. If you are in need or interested in taking part in direct therapeutic services, please contact your insurance provider’s customer service for assistance. You may also consult website such as (but not limited to) Psychology Today and Therapy for Black Girls to find a therapist. If you are located in NC, MD, SC, or VA and would like to work with me, click here to ensure I accept your insurance or check my rates and here to schedule an appointment.
